Creation or Destruction? How about both?
As a teenager, I aligned myself with my sense of adventure and moved away from my single mom. I focused on getting a “secure” job because I just wanted to feel safe when I walked home at night.
I thought I was really “living” when I landed the customer service position at American Express. Now, I had more than a job. I had a CAREER. Who would believe that a girl who lived in a trailer with no air conditioning in Davie, Florida would have the opportunity to work her way up the corporate ladder?
Fast-forward 17 years; that girl became a global re-engineering project manager in WW Technologies, restructuring international operations at Amex. I was saving the company millions of dollars in multi-year projects. Heck, all the time I was accomplishing that, I was so into the career track that I managed to earn a Master’s degree in Business at night and became an expert (Black Belt) in Six Sigma. My team and I even won the prestigious Chairman’s Award for Quality.
With all the leadership and business experience I received at that time, I should have been very pleased with myself, right?
Yet, something was still missing. I’d done everything THEY wanted me to do and more, I had made millions of dollars for THEM, but I wasn’t living the life I had imagined for myself.
That small voice (Leader Within) was gnawing at my consciousness again, sending me the uncomfortable message that something was amiss, and it needed to change. Was it telling me to lower my expectations and career aspirations, or to dig deeper into why I had that empty feeling?
I knew something was missing.
I began to question what I wanted out of the future. Suddenly, the mental structure that supported my vision for the future was melting away; I felt lost and disoriented – too afraid to leave American Express on my own.
Then an “invitation” arrived. It was a letter from my CIO “inviting” me to look for another position at Amex, or take an envelope full of severance. I am sure that I was the only one on my team imagining myself doing cartwheels down the cubicle aisle when I heard this news. I even practiced a cartwheel at home just to make sure I could pull it off. I mean what would they do fire me?
I didn’t know what I was going to do for work but I knew that there was something better for me than reapplying for a different job within Amex and just like that, those practical benefits lost their motivating power over me. I needed a better quality of life and not just more sacrifice for some potential retirement check in the uncertain future. At that time, I didn’t understand what that really meant or how I was going to make it happen, but I decided I was going to switch from the reactive, victimized, insecure employee and become proactive in my pursuit of who I really wanted to be and how I would make it happen.
Against any obvious reasoning, I was one of the only people actually happy about my department being dismantled. My inner teenager helped me write this song: **“You say I am crazy and you don’t want to listen, you got an answer for everything. Get out now. Out of my way. Get out now.” American Express made me in large part the leader I am today. I have no ill will towards that company, and yet it was time to move on!
So, humor me when I pose these questions for you:
- What makes you feel fully alive?
- What questions about your legacy as a leader are you living right now?
- How might you be able to tap into your sense of adventure and take that risk you’ve been wanting to take?
- How might you be able to tap into your imagination in order to create something new?
